Why do we have to Work?

I was in the midst of work, and i started to wonder why people have to work at all.

Looking for some material.

I am So Damned Happy!!!

Yes im in a very good mood these days. No bank, no 11 hours, no nothing. =)

Today i am cooking spaghetti bolognese, with mushroom soup for dinner.

Tomorrow i am going blading. Thurs i am going Bintan and comin back in time for a movie =). Friday i am going to JB with dad. Sat I am going Sentosa. Sunday I am going to stay home. I am so damned happy.

I was in a terribly foul mood the week before, and whining practically every day since two weekends ago. My job. Yes, i am doing Treasury Operations. Essentially it is back office work. It covers Foreign Exchange and Money Markets. My role is to prepare reports to do with Liquidity, Exposure, Money Markets Placements and Deposits, Profit and Loss, Credit Limits, Nostro Reconciliation etc...the list goes on. It is essentially a desk-bound job, and all i have to do each day is churn out reports. Lots of deadlines, daily ones, fornightly ones, weekly ones, monthly ones, quarterly ones, and yearly ones.

My greatest gripe is the working hours and being tied to the computer for 55 hours a week. Not to mention that it is not terribly interesting. I guess I have to start somewhere, and I am lucky to have gotten this opportunity, i think. I think i make it worse for myself, and maybe its not so bad. For one, people there are absolutely lovely. Its a very friendly environment, but are generally experienced people who intend to work there until they retire.

I also wonder if anyone actually enjoys their job. Other than Sam, who is managing clients accounts in a design firm , i really dunno anyones. I was actually sickeningly jaded during the week i worked. It takes me a weekend to recover from the spell of depression. Do u think i m exaggerating? But i really felt so.

I hope this week never ends.

Let the Corporate life begin

Well, today, i went to finalize the details of my job at royal bank of canada.
i will be startin work 29 aug. 5 day bank job week. i trust i will make good.
and its only 6 months.

'You Are Very Crap for Your Age'

At Campers Corner:
(This was a long gone affair)
I saw the gloves he bought for me
But why did he buy such expensive ones?
I feel bad in the way i had acted.

At New SMU Campus:
SMU has become a place I nearly couldnt recognize,
Although bits and pieces of
familiar memories lie in its facade...
Power points, wireless, different Sem Rooms.

But really, if u put me there,
I cant identify it as uniquely SMU.
(This is judging from the outset of the school,
the architecture, layout etc)
Amidst adopting the fruits of labour of
Successful unis around the world,
SMU is striving to become another
world-class university, and the price
it has to pay is losing its unique charm.

Places change, So do people...
who grow into the job, grow into their age
and grow to become a Singaporean worker.
I dont blame them, but cant help wonder
if i am lagging behind.
Pris says we should grow at our own pace.

Standing amongst my peers today,
I realised most have become more subdued -
Is it the Working Syndrome?
Or maybe its just the Office Wear,
Maybe its just me.
I was more energized,
Akin to an excited bunny equipped with more
Triple A batteries than i need.
I felt oddly out of place.
When places, people and expressions change,
I think maybe I had changed.

____________________________________________________

On a green field where a flock of birds were flying in unison, i saw 2 things:
i) Friends that grow together with you
ii) A society that functions together and moves as a uniform unit.
I wonder what others see.

My skatin has improved!

yay yay! i think i m gettin a wee bit better at bladin. i used to haf this naggin pain in my left foot - but today i managed to correct the mistake i think. im happy.

i will be startin work at royal bank of canada this sept - will work out the exact date come mon. cant help it - 6 months it has to be. =( but i get to keep my dreads. =)

im losin my lust for exercise now that tibet is off the agenda.

I dreamt i cut my hair

i dreamt i had my hair cut. I was so sad. But i hope to keep my hair for a long time. Wishful thinking but im just hoping. Coz i really love my hair although the majority of pple here dont.

okie the deal for me here is that i may have to forgo my year-end trip to Tibet. (WHY?) I am so damn upset. How often does one get to backpack Tibet and Nepal and China without any worries in the world? But then again, the people closest to me dont want me to go. =( Not like I care very much, but I am starting to realise that I have a responsibility to be accountable for myself, for the sake of others.

WHY? Becoz i need to start work. as predicted i am falling prey to societal norms and pressure. I guess there is a reason why Singapore is successful with its model of society, and perhaps to a large extent, how we do things are rightly justified. and now, really, i am under pressure to get something done wif my life. that is the problem. everything has to be done in a certain manner becoz its the way of life here, everyone does that, and everything is explained by pure logic which is somewhat bullshit to me.

1) Do not take unnecessary uncalculated risks. Why? Becoz it is stupid to put your life at risk.
But: Different pple have diff levels of risk tolerance - and to me I live life only once. And life becomes so complicated if you take into account the rights of others. Anyway, i think i have a lot to learn on tis.

2) Work your fucking ass off now so that you can do what you want in the future.
But: I think what if this person doesnt live to see the next day? I think we have to relish memories in the past, live in the present to the fullest, but also work towards the future. Not work for the future. The problem is that some pple work so much now in hope of a better future, but why cant we enjoy the present and the future, and not over compromise the present's happiness to buy a better future.

10 August 2005

My mind screams for help.

Citigroup. Goldman. Royal Bank.
Job. Pay, Branding, Prestige.

Theatre Passion Challenges
Love Joy Time Friends

Home. Feet to ground.

Caught up in norms vs What I want,
What IFs?
Friends moving on:
Evalation and pay increment.
Overseas - Hongkong Happy.

Fuck, I am so confused.

My dreams descend from the clouds.

Ruby says my hair looks cleaner

Life has been great.

If you ask me what i have been doin, my days have been largely, going out with friends, family, and siblings as well as working out. Not forgetting, eating. Had my fairshare of sashimi buffet, ice-cream, pratas, seafood, satay etc.

Trying to keep some activities that i picked up Austria, such as cycling, cooking and relaxing. Am blading, rock climbing and going to Dad's office every once a week, teaching tuition and drama relief when it comes along.

Looking back on my goals which i had stated in an earlier post, well, only one thing has been worked upon - which is training for my year-end trip. My Lasalle and horse-riding dreams have to be put on hold. Money is the main issue here. oh yes, and German classes too! Am still trying to pay off some bills and still save from scratch for my passport to China!

I have almost nearly stopped smiling at random people on the streets - although i still do it from time to time. Like today at Sentosa. Yes, i am still obsessed with the beach - and the sand and the waves and the carefree spirit. Ruby said my hair looked cleaner, =) after the dip in the saltwater.

Met up with some Austrian friends yesterday - two were tourists and one here on internship. They loved Singapore - largely for its food, cleanliness and cosmopolitan mix. Food i realised is indeed part of our culture! At everywhere I brought them sightseeing, from Esplanade to Boat Quay to Chinatown, we were never 3 minutes away from food! its quite crazy i realised. it is a national obsession.

The Build-up

24 July 2005

The build up lasted for days,lasted for weeks,lasted too long.Our hero withdrew,when there was two,he could not choose one,so there was none.Worn into the vaguely announced.The spinning top made a soundlike a train across the valley,fading, oh so quiet but constant til it passed,over the ridgeinto the distanceswritten on your ticket to remind you where to stop,and when to get off. - The Build up by Kings of Convenience

I ve been at it for days,
I dont know what to do.
Its only a phone dial away.
I saved it in my drafts.

Listening to the songs she burnt
The issue is what to do
What to say
How to react.
I am nervous,
I want, yet I dont.
I didnt think it would be
So hard. Breathe.

SMU Commencement 2005!

Well, i was excited on the day of commencement wed 20th july 2005. i am glad i came back for my folks and for graduation.

Yes - my parents were proud recipients at the graduation ceremony alright!

http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/beggarthyneighbour2001

/album?.dir=/e229&.src=ph&.tok=phr6lWDBisb_Wbd_

has more shots of me beaming wif joy.

Thoughts on the MRT in Singapore

It had been nearly one week since i am back. It had been great being home - short of fantastic. Somehow, i am trying to adapt. Not too hard. Just adjusting to the familiar sights that I have long taken for granted.

Every minute a handphone sounds
In this not so homogenous MRT
Happy at the @ the multi-diversity and
our people who are accepting of differences.
Looking at the landscape,
Really takes visual adaptation .
Familiar facades of green plants and HDBs
Ply the rail route.
Hardworking people in action
At every corner.

In Singapore when it rains,
Hardly does it ever dip below 25 degrees .
Ever vigilant of terro attacks,
even Europe is not on.

Goodbye Renate!

The last night in Graz, i spent with Marta (Croation student who studies musicology), where we exchanged long stories and life experiences we encountered along the way.

But really, one of the toughest thing for me is to say goodbye to Renate - who to me embodied home in Graz. walking back from hauptbahnhof yesterday back home along the route i knew all so well, and knowing that i would be walking down that route for the last time brought tears to my eyes. I looked at the bicycles parked ever so neatly and numerous, i felt completely empty becoz the frens i knew who stayed there had alles come & gone. I was sad - i like graz - but i really dont know when, if i am, ever gona return. I had bathed myself in cold water that night - forcibly dousing myself to be calm in the face of harsh reality - knowing that I am about to return to the real Home.

but home is here in europe. This is what i envisage to be the lifestyle that i would like to lead for a long time. maybe it is only to the exchange students that life is all good. this exchange to Austria marked a new opening for m, or 'a second childhood', as aptly put by Sebastian, a homosexual dancer from slovenia.

time slipped by the hands of the clock ever so quickly, leaving me bewildered in its wake! A godzillion memories, and indescribable lessons will act as company in my subsequent life journey. and i wld always bear in mind that 'work is not your life, do what you think is right, do what you want for yourself, not what others tell you to want. '

'if you have an aim, you will find your way'

I am hardened now. Letting the train ride dissipate my thoughlessness.

Samstag 9/7 bis Sonntag 10/7 @ Stadt Rottenmann

Reached Stadt Rottenmann. Happy to see Angie & Flo after a week of solitude. I have mixed feelings whenever I see Angie - a part of me feels sad and uncertain about how things will work out for her and Flo.

Anyway days were great for us up till today - Sonntag. Walks in the woods, up to the Burg (Fortress), the cow farm, eating Raspberries, wild strawberries and other types of berries that grow in the wild.

SOmehow it wasnt so hard to say goodbye when i left - i know i wld see them again! Somehow.

Freitag 8/7 @ Albert's Haus

It's so beautiful beautiful beautiful, magical, mystical irresistable, cosmical and most of all woohoooo .... ....

This guy, wow - Karl - amazing. 15 years of mountaineering experience and is 26 yrs old. Quite quite interesting - but realli crazy over climbin. The highest he went was 550 m - madness. Anyway i bought 380 euros worth of trekking equipment.

I am so happy! Tibet here I come. Am now at Haus Alphen owned by Albert at Obsmarktstrasse 21. Nice B&B - am at rooftop, nice sink and amenities - @ 17 Euros, i tink life is good. Place is perfect. I like.

Tomorrow I will go and meet Angie and Flo at Stadt Rottenmann by noon and leave his place on Sunday.

How I spent my week in salzburg mountains

Monday (4/7/05)
- slept at the Haitzmanns' storeoom met Frustuck @ 8 Euros/night
- biked up to Hirschbichl
- dinner at Lofehyers

Tuesday (5/7/05)
- made my way up to Hintersee
- got lodging at Alphenhof Pension Gasthof
- slept in the whole day as it wuz raining

Wednesday (6/7/05)
- roamed around Hintersee
- Maria alm biking
- Saalfelden shopping

Thursday (7/7/05)
- Haitzmanns lent me a bike
- Started biking from 11am in the morn
- Covered Martin Bei Lofer, Vorderkasseklam, Lofer
- got drenched cycling home

Alphenhof Pension Gasthof

Alphenhof Pension Gasthof is a pretty place. I slept in the room for mountain bikers and trekkers. It was nice, but i woke up at 5am! Couldnt sleep.

Anyways got ready at 730 am, took a walk around the lake. Then met Chef (German for supervisor or person in charge), who had a young son. I had chatted wif him the night before, and learnt that he had stopped over Singapore enroute to New Zealand (for mountaineering and trekking).

That day after breakfast, I walked about the whole of Hintersee, into Zauberwelt, Wisthaus, up to the Ramsau area - where there were tons of Ferien Wohnung (Holiday homes), met a rich fella energetically hiking his way up. Actaully there are tons of energetic and not so energetic people here at Saalach Valley. And here at Lahngut (the cowshit storeroom in Weissback where I put up), there is a Czech family living here.

After the walk, i took Wanderbus down to Weissback, then a Bus 260 down to to Saalfelden Postamt. I rented a bike - then went from there to Maria Alm and back - beautiful meadows that would make me sob, horses, cows grazing the fields. There was also a golf course. On my way back, I did quite a plenty shopping - my Freesoul jacket, Sisley pants and pink doggie top. Am still thinkin whether to get the St Oliver's bag and the bikini for mama or sister.

Weissbach bei Lofer

4 39 am - 5 July 2005 - Montag

Zeit trickles slowly.
The patterns of the raindrops
Outside the storeroom.
For 8euros a night mit Frustuck,
The Haitzmann had very
Hospitably taken me guest.
My sole companion is a housefly,
it had been buzzing around
since 8pm gestern.
Munching on my Easter eggs from Poland,
I find such moments rare.

Had this been the refuge I
was searching for?
In the spirit of wandern,
Had i discovered the wonders
of her people.
Stranded one afternoon
on the 4th of July,
It soon hit me that
No room were frei.
Elizabeth who was so generous
also watered the seed of
Hitchhiking me me.
So lay i now scribbling away
in the warm room she offered.

Trudging my way through Sisenbergklamm
I soon arrived at Hintertal!
Paradise of meadows and rolling mountains,
some snow-capped,
i stood at an elevation of 800m at least.
Pampering myself to a feast of
fried pork and paprika sauce
mit Holonderblume drink,
I was in bliss.

It was 4km back to weissback
and a storm was approaching.
the bosses of gasthof pension lohfeyer were
too kind.
Lent me der farrah for frei and
gave me life home.
I am astounded speechless.
I have now renewed faith in the
milk of human kindness.

the neighouring chuch chimes in dawn,
as birds start to chirp and
the 400-inhabitant town starts to awaken.
I put my 3-in-1 Milo away
trudging to bed as an
untrodden day unfolds.

Saying Goodbye

30 June 2005

Saying goodbye is one of the hardest things to do. Hard when you never know when u r gona see the person again. I ve been constantly reflecting the past month. But i ve never yearned to go home. I ve grown to love Graz for the place it is, and the Global Business Program people who made me feel like we are part of one big family.

And now it is nearly time to go our separate ways, and yeah, sometimes it is near tear-jerking, but like Memo said, ''Live for the moment enjoy moment'.

As usual, I am still pretty much in crontrol, but of course insude i feel sad because all this while, i have been hanging out with these guyz at parties nearly every freaking weekend! They picked me up when I was down - and whipped me into shape. I remember there was a time when every one was down, and also another when all was dead drunk. Those crazy times we shared.

It is the memories that last. Goodbye. For now.

Life

DESREE

Ooh, Yeah
Oh yeah
Oh Life
Oh Life
I'm afraid of the dark
Especially when I'm in the park
When there's no one else around
Oh I get the shivers
I don't wanna see a ghost
It's the sight that I fear most
I'd rather have a piece of toast
Watch the evening news
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
I'm a superstitious girl
I'm the worst in the world
Never walk under ladders
I keep a rabbits' tail
I'll take you up on a dare
Anytime, anywhere
Name the place, I'll be there
Bungee jumping, I don't care
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life
So after all's said and done
I know I'm not the only one
Life indeed can be fun
If you really want to
Sometimes living out your dreams
Ain't as easy as it seems
You wanna fly around the world
In a beautiful balloon
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Life, oh life
Oh life, oh life
Oh life, oh life..

Be Yourself

Audioslave

Someone falls to pieces
Sleepin all alone
Someone kills the pain
Spinning in the silence
To finally drift away
Someone gets excited
In a chapel yard
Catches a bouquet
Another lays a dozen
White roses on a grave

To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

Someone finds salvation in everyone
And another only fame
Someone tries to hide themself
Down inside their selfish brain
Someone swears his true love
Untill the end of time
Another runs away
Divided or united?
Or is everyone insane?

To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

You can be fading up
And pulled apart
Or been in love
Every single memory of
Could have been faces of love
Dont lose any asleep tonight
I'm sure everything will end up alright
You may win love

But to be yourself is all that you can do
To be yourself is all that you can do

Well well so now what?

thanks sammie dear so much for the encouragement! somehow, u seem to know wat i am thinking although number one, we havent seen each other for so long (from ur trip here till now), and also the past three and a half months before u came down! ur message really made me so happy - that u too understand the way i feel!

and im sure i can live life differently - i want to! I really hope that i dont get sucked up in the pace of life back home - i noe how hard it is keep my dreams alive - but i´ve been talking about this wif angeline - and we figured that even if we follow the pace of life in singapore - it doesnt mean that we conform to the visions and norms of the society in which we r brought up in. wat matters is that we haf a wider perspective of things, and we are working towards a goal that we want so badly for ourselves, and not to satisfy wat society wants from us.

i haf a set of goals to fulfill - although i will probably not do all - but im sure and i hope i can realize at least two! Here goes (in no order of priority):
- study german (weekday nights)
- learn horse-riding with papa in malaysia (sundays)
- graphic design @ Lasalle or NAFA (Sammie i need ur advice on this)
- work towards tibet trip in dec 05 and SEA trip in june 06
- get my driving license
- learn stage lighting from SUVEN
- overseas comm service opportunites in India, Nepal, Africa

budgeting for these is actually the hard part. i need to pay off my bills such as my exchange loan, tuition fee loan, phone bill, give mama some money, and of course misc! and i think this will amount to about 500 - 600 a month. gosh and i still need to survive! but im sure i can manage. its my life. and im doing this for me. not for mom, not for pop, not for anyone else. i will find the strength i hope.

for the past 22 yrs i have been doing things not entirely for myself. this trip away from home gave me the opportunity to see possibilities and keep my head in the clouds, but also the perspective to have my feet on the ground. the harsh reality is gona be hard, but i hope my friends will keep me sane and my visions alive. ash told me that taking a year off takes real guts as not everyone will do it. but i dream. and i hope that i will be able to carry on dreaming.

Friends I Have Made

11th June 2005

I lie in bed. My body aching from the crazy concert I had. I am dirty – haven’t washed my hair for 2 weeks, and haven’t bathed for 1 and ½ days now. After the mud and sweat, I am now a Audioslave believer! =)

Looking back at the times I had, I have made friends from all over.

For Austrians, I was closer to Rene, Flo, Christoph and maybe Daniela. And of course, Renate, my landlady. I definitely have met more Austrians, but I don’t think I was ever got to know them better than mere acquaintances.

As for the exchange students, I have formed bonds with Maya (Bulgarian). Anja (Slovenian), Helga (Hungarian), the Chinese people (Shanghainese & studying in the Netherlands), Angeline (Singaporean) and maybe Matthias! (Germany).

I also made friends with some people from the Jazz Academy, Gregor (Slovenian), Phillip (Slovenian) and Peter (Croatian)!

And also Martha – architecture student (Slovenian), Martha – musicology student (Croatian), my magnetic dread maker – Groch in Warsaw, Mark (Polish teacher cum hostel rentalist) and Adam – the cool media academician cum industry consultant! Who can forget the crazy bunch of Hungarians – who are also friends of Helga! Dominique is one crazy Punzi I will remember, Petar is Helga’s boyfriend and Steve is Petar´s brother.

I will keep in my memory the intense violinist at the cozy home-run jazz bar at Barbertengasse, where the owner closed shop and invited me and my friends to join them for home-made wine, food, music and Austrian company! There was an accomplished tenor (Florian), accordion player, pianist (France) and of course The Violinist (Elma). They did a live version of yodeling, piano recital, violin piece and played the accordion. It was a magical night. Simply beautiful.

Of course there were many others, such as Mika (Christoph´s friend at Nova Rock concert), Christoph (Renate’s son), Farie (Helga’s friend from Hungary), the lady from Sydney with a partner in Maribor, Richard McAndrew (Professor from Hawaii), the UK lady at DIG, and many many more. I mean, there are also the rest of the GBP people.

Indeed, it is a bagful of memories that I will carry with me for a long time to come.

Fucking Good!

10th June 2005

Audioslave rocks! I love the band!

It wuz fantastic just fantastic. Nova Rock Concert at Burgenland.
Me and Christoph drove 6 hours to and back just to catch Audioslave and System of a Down live in concert. My gosh. I just came back - still reekin of mud,´on my jeans, on my jacket, and my shoes are totally ruined. But im like wowed. There were like 50000 pple at the concert grounds - it is a four day event. Nice lineup wif Marilyn Manson playin tmr, over the next few dayz r the prodigy, green day....bein the star shows.

We reached Nickelsdorf at 730pm yesterday. Queued up for 40 mins to get our entrance bands. Saw a fight on our way in. When we walked in - tons of slossy mud - coz it wuz drizzlin too - mud and rain - can be more perfect for a rock concert. We saw tons and tons of tents set up - for pple who bout 4 day passes for the festival. So it wuz cool. Saw many pple high on grass - swaggerin on the mud, some walkin with black garbage bags coverin their feet, goth pple, metal, grunge, pple wif pink and purple dreadlocks - weird, punks and normal pple etc.

Dropped our stuff at Mikha´s tent (Chris´s fren who reviews festivals) and headed into the main stage. The band - Wir Sind Helen played - but it wuz German music - i dont like. Music has been goin on since 1pm by the way. Finally at 9-something, Audioslave came out. We were standin somewat in the middle of the crowd - and i couldnt see shit. Tetesterone-filled atmosphere. Then when Audioslave played - everyone went crazy. Jumpin and pushin. Moshpits, body surfin. But the mosh pits in the middle of the crowd is crazy. When they started i thot i wuz gona die on the festival grounds. Coz itz big boyz jumpin and high on music, and thank god i wuz not too short. I figured if i wanted to live, i had to shovel my way to the first wharfbreaker(i think thatz wat it iz). So I did, but Audioslave wuz heavenly. It wuz cold, but with a bit of jumpin and pushin, and warm sticky bodies, the temperature wuz juz right! Bits of rain fallin amidst dazzlin lights, and great great atmosphere, great fans, great showmanship from the band - i wuz in surreal mode for quite a bit. amazin. kudos to chris cornell (front man). the rest of the band members were from rage against the machine. cornell wuz divine - love his vocals, very very versatile. they realli got the crowd rockin.

Then the crowd waited in anticipation for System of a Down to perform. of course i wuz like - bring it on - although i wuz not a big fan of them. but after gettin to nearly the third row from the first wharfbreaker, i thot i wuz safe. boy, when the music started, the crowd got crazy again. i wuz silently prayin that no one would step on my shoelaces, if not i wld surely be stempeded upon. the music wuz headbangin good, fast at the right times. then this huge wave of moshin came - and fuck, like just less than 10 pple were pushed so hard, we fell, and i wuz one of them - but i wuz ok. but bodies were crammed so close to one another - i never had parts of my anatomy touched in the way it wuz in the concert. i swear man, not an inch of space. but it wuz great, the pushin the jumpin in unison, for the common cause of music. strange, i didnt noe that SoAD wuz popular in Austria, it wuz the number one sellin LP - and fans knew all the lyrics to their songs.

Magical. We went back to the tent, had some beers, no grass, sadly, and went to sleep in Daniel´s tent, which wuz fuckin cold. I got up like 20 times from 330am to 730 am. Hardly got any sleep. I hate the cold. So me and Christoph took off at 8am - and made our way back to graz. so here i am now. Livin to tell the tale.

I Pack, I Cry, I Long

5 June 2005

I pack. Sadly aware that in less than 1 month’s time, I will be away from Graz - a place that i fondly call home. It is a place of too many memories - of good & of bad times. I did so many things that I can hardly believe that it had been 3 and 1/2 months.

I have
- seen the lovely Eastern Europe
- become an accomplished chef
- learnt the meaning of living independently
- put on 4.5 kg
- realized that all kinds of people exist
- discovered the delights of Europe in terms of the social system, scenery and way of life.

I cry now for a mix of reasons: for the fact that I am going to leave Graz and her wondrous pace of life. I cry because I cannot enjoy the splendid aura of Venice – I was not selected for the internship. I cry because I am going to leave the people I have met, behind. I cry for the good and bad times in Graz.

Ich bin traurig. 5.30 a.m.

I now know what it means to enjoy life, and that there is more to life than just work. I fear going back to Singapore – the judgment, the norms, the pressure to work and perform. I shudder as I recollect the life that I used to lead, and do not wish to return to that hectic lifestyle that is full of rigid laws and keine enjoyment. I hate the social norms back home. I long to go back sometimes, but not with the intention to stay in the long run. My mind works – maybe prolonging my stay here is still possible?

Wow!

I had Sam and Ruby over this week. And Nat and her sister, Rachu.

It was great seeing these guys after so long - fantastic! strangely it did not feel surreal - instead it felt so real. havin not talked to them for so long - i am really grateful that i had managed to update these people who are important to me about my life. And changes and gossip. I love u guyz so much!

Nobody expressed extreme surprise on my hair - juz that sam wuz a bit amazed, and ruby said i put on weight. nat thinks ive become europeanized - watever it means.

I largely cooked - and yes i have got good feedback! Finally me and Nat hatched a plan to open an Indian Chinese restaurant. we had home made puddin and fruits, home made pasta, sangria and wine. very nice.

well, this week also happens to be springfive week. but it ends today. it is a week dedicated to electronic music. nice - they had dorfmeister over and tosca playin. i went for the openin concert on wed.

The Party was so bad

The campus party in FH today - like just now wuz so bad i had to sneak to the computer room just upstairs for a breather
but its realli cool how there is a party held in the skol auditheatre wif music and booze and excited and happy europeans prancin ard to wat i think it pop trash and retro junk. anyway, my laptop died on me - i am totalli devasted. the screen cannot function coz itz all black but the hardware is still runnin. i am like damn!
haha, but oh well. will see yah

Me. Attention?

Sunday 15th May 2005

I am cleanly scrubbed,
silently proud of my crowning glory:
It has been two weeks.
My longest ever,
Untouched by the stuff
Which untangles the locks.
I now realize how easy it is.
The itch has become part and parcel
And it’s now very tolerable.

I had been a recluse.
Shunning friends and also
The washing machine.
Had to resort to G-strings,
Coz I have no normal ones left.

Recluse partly by choice,
Using the thesis and EBE Assignment
as an excuse.

I had two encounters.
One with drunk Wolfgang,
Another with the strange French guy.
Both dropped serious hints –
It was so strange.
I was scared,
But now wary and wiser.
Of course they were spurned.

Perhaps it is the language barrier,
I am feeling more competent
With the Deutsche in Graz’s almost-daily classes.

Fret not, I am not extremely joyous
Nor am I in the doldrums
Although recently I have taken
To staring at photographs
From back home for hours.

“The communicator cannot stop at knowing that the people he is working with have different customs, goals, and thought patterns of his own. He must be able to feel his way into intimate contact with these alien values, attitudes, and feelings. He must be able to work with them and within them, neither losing his own values in the confrontation nor protecting himself behind a wall of intellectual detachment. ”

For starters, you can find opportunities to become familiar with many types of people so that the differences become normal and interesting instead of threatening. And you can practice body awareness so that changes that signify a stress reaction can be identified and counteracted.

It is a transition stage for me,
Where I am straddling the end of
Cultural confrontation with adjustment.

Curious I will be when Sam and Rub arrive,
Of what feelings my mind and heart will evoke.


**************************************
Not By Choice

I told myself and Mama
No to more traveling
I had my share of fun abroad
Plus thought I – why not Austria?
It presents many opportunities for
My idea of fun. At a lower cost too.
I am resolved to enjoy
The coffee houses,
The Fine cuisine,
And surely shopping, too,
For myself and others!

**************************************

Ich bin muede

I am so tired. My legs feel soft.

Coz of the partying on Sat - till like 430 am. and i went home, ate some food, stared into space, and went to bed at 6am. Only to have to wake up at 8am to meet Chinese friends to climb Schokel Mountain. Yeah, friends from China, our first outing. They were great.

So today is Monday, had German class, and after this I ve gota attend real German classes, which I am gona pay alota money for.

And over the weekend, I wuz researchin on jobs to do in the summer, like maybe july. coz i applied for an internship position in the Venice 51st Biennale - some contemporary art festival. But, i think a lota other very eligible pple applied for it too. So meanwhile I looked elsewhere. I wuz researching on the prospects of picking apples, peaches or strawberries in denmark, austria, workin on a husky farm in sweden, in a holiday resort in austria or spain, in an organic farm high up in the mountains of bulgaria..... i so badly want an alternative lifestyle. coz i so badly dont wana start a corporate life.

okies, back to editin Rene's thesis, and gota start on my assignments on european biz envir which is due on Wed! Argh!

Somewhere Over The Rainbow/What A Wonderful World

Artist: Israel Kamakawiwo'ole

Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dreams that you dream of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly
And the dreams that you dream of, dreams really do come true
Someday I'll wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops is where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow bluebirds fly
And the dreams that you dare to, oh why, oh why can't I?
Well I see trees of green and red roses too,
I'll watch then bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Well I see skies of blue and I see clouds of white and the brightness of day
I like the dark and I think to myself, what a wonderful world
The colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky
are also on the faces of people passing by
I see friends shaking hands saying, How do you do?
They're really saying, I, I love you
I hear babies cry and I watch them grow,
They'll learn much more than we'll know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Someday I'll wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where trouble melts like lemon drops
High above the chimney tops is where you'll find me
Somewhere over the rainbow way up high
And the dreams that you dare to, oh why, oh why can't I?

Back in Graz!

I am back in school today! Working on my research stuff, i m also helping Rene (an Austrian) to edit his thesis. He was in Singapore for exchange - but i didnt really noe him that much then. anywayz, its good - coz he is payin me a bit to do the job - so im good.

Just sent in my application for the 51st venice biennale. thinkin of headin to venice for internship after im done with classes at FH. our role is to support and man the singapore pavilion. i think its cool - coz i get to go venice, number one. number two, they will subsidize living costs and provided accomodation. i hope i stand a chance.

will be cookin curry chicken with tomato and potato wif rice and bread tomoorrow for my frens at my place! helga will be making apple strudel. so fun. i will have no classes for the next two weeks, so i will be workin on my job search, my research work, and my homework for european business environment.

so good lah. less busy. hey for my lovely frens who are comin over - maybe we will go to leibnitz. vineyards countryside. near slovenia. oh -today is the first day i am wearin a skirt and slippers out! coz the weather aint so cold. =) smiles

In Slovenia right now

I am in Slovenia now! Ljubljana right now. in the really nice hostel called cellica. and guess what everyboy here speaks great english! and really friendly too! for those who intend to come to eastern europe - u really should not miss slovenia. great place. great music. i think great shoppin - thing is we arrived yesterday when it wuz like a public holiday - so all the shops were closed - i mean how unfortunate can we get right. but, we are gona hit the streets today.

bye for now.

The finished dessert! Presenting to you fruit cake pudding! Its half chocolate, and half vanilla! It wuz really yummy! =) 

Radi (Bulgaria), Maya (my good fren frm Bulgaria), Astrid (Norway), Irina (Bulgaria), Helga (Hungary) and me. We were having a great afternoon baking cake and pudding, having juice, bread, wine and music.  

Me Helga & Radi at my place's kitchen today! 

Helga the Chef 

Nights Like This

4.21am

It is nights like this.
I toss and turn once,
And I lay unblinking,
Wide awake.
Not knowing whether or not
to return to a dreamless sleep.

Setting on the kitchen table:
Honey, Dettol cream, Scalpisil
3-合-1 packet of Milo
¼ cup of Cup of cheap Ceylon Indian tea
Squeezed lemon left inside the cup
1/3 left of opened tee butter
A plate of hardened bread with crumbs all over
A dead rolled-up fly on the floor
The New Confessions by William Boyd,
Page 15 and 16 flat against the table
Covers of the book staring at me
from behind my laptop.

I am not hungry.
I started with tea and lemon,
But thinking it was no harm in finishing up my long overdue bread,
Opened up the butter, and started to slice the bread,
Only to have it crumble in my face.

The gnawing itch in my head,
It is fucking irritating.
Not only up in there, also in my legs and my thighs.
I cant get to sleep; Nor can I read in peace
Again, thoughts zit through my head.
Spinning into an uncontrollable ball of
Desires and thoughts scanning across the lexicon
of my maturing self.

Ash ash, dear ash, the emails are a constant reminder
Of the memories we had.
Almost every day I cant help but reflect
Some would call it Payback time,
Unfinished business if you would have it.
To me its just a fine line between the former and letting go.
You know what I want,
So help me please.

It was great, fantastic even, hearing adrian’s strangely subdued voice
I had expected more excitement, maybe its been 2 weeks,
But still a GA in Std Chart is no mean feat.
Good to know things are still the same
Coz we still have differing ideas on
What it is to have
A totally Wanked up holiday job.

I had missed mommies voice.
Strange but true.
Routines like this
Has ironically, in a good way maybe,
been nagged into my system.
Forgive me dad, but I thought I heard
Ur tear-stricken voice over the phone.
Damp with emotion, I know you guyz
Would want me back.
Expectations of returning in june refaded into existence
When I very well know, my choice of future
Is as unpredictable as
whats going to happen
the day after tomorrow.
I cast as wider net of ambition
Hungrycravingeagerexciteduncertainopen
I will run as far as the distance will take me

One more thing,
I think I would raze my hair to the ground soon enough
If I continue to have sleepless nights like this
But I would lose a bet. Hell no –
Remind me to pray to God
For everything I have and do not have.

**This little piece I wrote, I know its really messed up, but really it’s a collection of my thoughts. The setting on the table part is meant to be a lil’ illustration of the cooking recipes I have been closely following the past few days, to great success! Not deliberately though, but it just came by way of thought. And Id like you guyz to imagine the setting, like in a play, coz I really miss reading English plays and directing. Anything Goes, the latest musical in town by SMU is gona be staged the first few days in July in NAFA. Catch it if you can! It is much bigger than Barefoot, and my heart and kudos goes out to those in the scene! Exciting!

Up to nothing at all!

Im pretty much up to not much travelling after having 3 weeks of non-stop moving about! Im getting boring.

My dreads are nicely setting in - and am getting use to it all.

No lessons this week. Only doing up more research work, finding more places to chill out now that spring is here and more festivals are coming up.

I intend to brush up my german, then look for jobs or internships, and improve my cooking. My-oh-my, my carbonara which what it was intended to be turned out to be scrambled eggs, coz i turned the heat on too high.

anyway, please visit my online photo album at http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/beggarthyneighbour2001/my_photos. I will upload my Eastern Europe travel and Heidelberg pix really soon!

Ode to The Train Ride II (Salzburg - Graz)

10th Apr, 2005 (Sunday)

Yes, the hills are alive! They spoke to me.
I saw them dancing amidst the pastures of greenery.

Orangey hues provided a magnificent backdrop
Against the splendid feast of icing-laden mountains
Making for a titillating sight to behold.

Awashed with enchantment,
I yearn to tread tiptoe, shodless on the riverbanks
Where the current will take me along with its rhythmic flow.

Nestled deep in the ridges and valleys,
Little homes and kirches with shades of lamps
showed me an alternative lifestyle.

For a brief moment, I see blackness
For a rippling second, I thought
I could never look at city lights the same way, Again.
For this is a rare league of untainted perfection
That surpassed my wildest dreams
In all my 22 (coming on 23) years.

Yes, the hills are alive! They spoke to me.
Wrought under the spell of Nature,
I have to refind myself in the depths of wilderness.

Ode to The Train Ride 1 (Heidelberg - Salzburg)

10th Apr, 2005 (Sunday)

Blank. Frowned. Germanic

On my way back from Heidelberg –
(I)
A hundred million thoughts splinter within my skull.
Dancing in the sea of meadows and vacant branches
I am not so much hollow as I am directionless
Confused and spun around.
Intensity rallied against my senses
Too much for me to take
Part of growing up,
Learning the ways of the world is sobering yet elusive
She gets you, sets you free,
Then once again waves her flag of terrorism.
(II)
Thoughts of relationships, people, work and places
Shooting their daggers of uncertainty one after another,
Aimed at balloons of fragile dreams in my desperate mind.
Being somewhere yet nowhere scares me
Not knowing which path to take rebels within my subconscious.
I know it is impossible to dodge,
I know I can only seek temporary refuge
In the oasis of time.
I suspect this ride will bring light
At the end of the tunnel.
(III)
I want to, but my heart pumps poison to my brain.
Each determined to outdo another.
(IV)
I yearn for moments on Daddy’s Lap
Carefree like a child – floating on wonder,
Riding on a rainbow into the skies.

Heidelberg - what a wondrous time is spring

My friends in GBP said I was a tourist.

they were apalled at how little modules i took in skol, and how i am never ard durin lessons. me and angeline, durin our easter trips had more or less felt like tourists, and somehow we never truly belonged, much as we wld like to experience the heart and soul of a foreign place. i think it helps if you know somebody in the country, be it a native or a non-native (coz tt means u dun haf to think so much, and navigate urself in this entirely new country of which u have zilch language competency in) and more imptantly, it helps to know the language. this time in heidelberg, with anthony, it is finally the wake-up call for me to really learn my german! coz the students in his student dorm alll spoke german, and in germany, duh , everyone speaks german. and anthony, for example, from day 1 spoke german wif everyone else, and didnt use any english. we all know tt german is a tough language, and somesay it takes 5 yrs in germany to master the language. the grammer is totally topsy turvey from english, and the pronounciation is killin me - with all the umlauts like ü ä and ö. i am somewhat gettin it, but i can hardly manage. an example of a question literally translated from german is, ´cld u a photo for us take?´ and all nouns have a gender. which is so crap, and there is this thing called high german, which means u use sind sie to address someone on a formal basis and du for informal. and if u dun noe the language, u wldnt be able to communicate, number one. number two, u cant understand the jokes, which is only effective in german, number three, you cant feel and appreciate the culture of the place. so in short, yes, i will put more effort into german. coz if i am interested to get a job in europe, german is one of the best third language for me to master.

i now really thinkin of my future. i have a rough idea, but the possibilites are endless for me. i mean now in heidelberg, it is a place to kick off ur shoes and sit by the river to read, and juz takin a stroll and hike up a hill under the bare trees, cool air, and rustling branches are enuf to set my mind wandering ..... of what the future holds for me. as alfred had told me, the world is your oyster, and most definitely, i am living my wildest dream. and more rolling times to come, im sure.

oh yes, has anyone heard of Blue and also The Double Life of Veronika? Adam, whom we met from Poland, told me to try to watch these films. Maybe u can, too. And yeah, i am in love wif Monty Phython! It is so damn hilarious, i m gona watch the entire collection! it is so irreverently humorous. i watched it while i wuz doin my dreads. Groch, the dreadmaker, definitely has a good collection of movies, it is amazin - coz he has a good Irish friend, and tts y he speaks good english. it wuz a good 15 hours to remember for a long time.

meanwhile, here is heidelberg (somewhat south of frankfurt), i muz say that anthony has been and amazing host. he brought me to the most beautiful places, and i will upload these photos when i reach back austria. juz a running commentary of our itinery to date...if u r interested.

6th apr-wed
despite taking a 13 hr train ride wif two transits and having less than two hours of consecutive sleep the entire night, i wuz well able to persist till 11pm. we did a tour of the small city centre called bismarckplatz and walked along hauptstrasse (our equivalent of orchard road), visited the castle up on the mountain - koenigstuehl(the highest point in heidelberg), lay on the grass under the sun, had two cones of ice-cream, and went to the bookshop where i bought two books. anthony called me a voyeur juz because the books i bought were largely bout the study of the inner workings of pple. anyway.

7th apr-thu
here in schriesheim(a village, 20 min bus ride), are the most beautiful and quaint lil houses my eyes have ever set its sights on. u can see a stream running beneath a small lil garage! and the pavements and roads are so narrow, if u never saw the inhabitants, u wld think they were really little people with small feet and small cars. the juxtaposition of the woody colour of the houses with the riot of bright refreshing colours from blooming flowers in spring makes for a very pleasing feast for the eyes. Of course the fresh air and being on a hilly area makes the atmosphere even more compelling for me. Can u imagine a house on a hill overlooking the city, and to top it up, they have their own vineyard and also another piece of terraced land for gardening and building tree houses and the like? I could be exaggerating a little, but I really felt like I wuz in fairyland. And of course, the pastries were so good. Oh yes, my favourite beer brand now is löwenbräu and my drink-of-the-moment is kirschweizen! Which is also cherry beer. It’s so drinkable!

We also climbed up another hill, philosophenweg. It wuz a rather steep climb of about 1hr juz to see the Nazi stadium and there wuz also the 15th century monastery ruins. It wuz hauntingly beautiful. We climbed two hills in one day – I say we are pretty damn good. We were exhausted at the end of the day.

8th apr-fri
we went to speyer, a half hour train ride away from Heidelberg. We did the usual stuff everybody would do in Europe – visit the dom and the museum, and every church I go to will be holding memorial services for john pope II. And in speyer there wuz a carnival! It wuz great seeing the multicoloured ballons and stuffed toys hanging as prizes, and candy bars and sweets and chewing gum of all shapes and sizes. Anthony and I couldnt resist the urge to be little kids again, so we joined a bunch of kids at least two heads shorter than me, to go into the Waterhouse … we had to go thru 3 kiddy storeys of obstacles´ to avoid getting wet, and at the end of it, we had to run thru this exit where water spurts out periodically. I didn’t get wet, but poor Anthony did, and boy, did the girls giggle. Including me. Heheh. And the best wuz when we heard music and when we got closer, there wuz a band playing. They were dressed in the cutest, funniest and most ridiculous bird costumes. Something like celebrating the aftermath of easter I guess. Ok, not so funny. It comprised pple of all age and sizes and skin colour. They had drums on rollers and marched along as the carnival grounds, giving a very lively and fun atmosphere. Something u proli wld never experience in Singapore. Anyway, I really liked it. To end off the day, I had cheese cake and chocolate ice-cream.

Poland and Hungary

Anway in short, my story in poland is that we stayed with mark and his family. we were damn scared on the way to his place lah. thot we wld never walk outta his car alive. haha. another crazy thing i did wuz to do dreads on my hair. yeah. i juz told my mom its a bit like curls - which is really like black's curls. it took 15 freakin hrs to do!

Poland .. Contd !

25th mar
Still in Poland, we went to this town about 170 km away from Krakow by bus, and reached Oswiecim. This is made up of two torture ghettos: Auschwit & Birkenau. It was horrendous living conditions. Like 6-8 pple sharing a wooden bed. Little water. Poor santiation. Ill-treated. Overworked. We also saw the baby shoes, and a hauntingly errie display of fake legs and crutches of those who were sent to the gas chamber. At least 1.1 million Jews from over all the world walked through those gates, and never came back.

And, of course, Angie, with her fetish for supermarket shopping, made us go to Tesco. It is huge. We figured our way, and spent 1.5 hrs there! But it was nice.

26th mar
went to zacopane - tatra mountains. It is actaully a area for ski and snowboarding. But we were too broke to we juz spent time walking a lot. and watching pple play in the snow. wat is interesting is tt after dinner at ard 830pm, we were hanging around the square, and debating in our singlish whether we should stay and for the open-air classical music concert or go back to rest. (coz we were dead tired from making wrong turns, and having to walk a ton of roads extra.) then in classic novel style, this polish guy from behind us said, "hey, are you guyz from singapore?" we turned ard to a really funny sight - this tall guy, whose name is adam wuz wearing a beret and wuz leanin and sittin on the side of his bike. we three decided we wanted to watch the concert, and having some time to kill - he took us to the beatutifully bohemic, and dingy looking pubs and bars tt i wld love to go chill out. amazing ambience thse chillout places in the jewish settlement have. he is btw, in the media industry, abt late 30s, more like a consultant, and also an academician. turned out tt he wuz asked to lecture in lasalle, and wuz stayin in bishan for some time. nice guy. wld love to visit him again when he hit krakow.

27th mar
we got up at 7pm, all ready to board the 10am train. turns out tt they adjusted the time one hour ahead, apparently to account for some greenwich thingy. So we were happily trudging along at 930, but came to the train station it wuz 1030. so we juz missed our train by 30 mins. bummer. so we had to go on the 4pm train.

at the locker room, we bumped into 3 german dudes. we went to the old square wif em and chatted to kill time. and yeah i had a pretty good time. i cld get along quite well wif hannes, who is doin exchange in budapest. strange - he is the same age as me and born juz 7 dayz before me. and we get along. hmmm virgos.

at the train station in warsaw, finally, this 40 plus looking beardy man approached us. askin if we wanted to stay in a polish home. we had talked bout stayin wif families for quite a bit, so this wuz the perfect opportunity.....

Hit the roads - Czech , Poland WIP

Woo! i feel really good! like im on some kinda long haul holiday man. I really wish i cld live like this forever!

Well right now I am in Poland. In a Internet cafe just outside the cinema. Me and Angeline had just watched Million Dollar Baby, and man it is so depressing!

I ve gotta get off soon, so ive been to Czech Republic - in Brno. Went for two very very **ahem interesting places. One wuz a student pub, which had skinny and not-too-good-looking topless waitresses selling beer for almost 2 sgd. Another wuz a student disco - half of us were wonderin y we were there - but becoz another exchange fren, wuz from there and she wuz bring us ard.. so it wuz nice for us to look like we were enjoyin ourselves. btw more than half of them were younger than me. and very very curios abt chinese/asians. the dance floor my gosh - in short, its like 1970 s america. think high skol party kids on the dance floor, wood, fences. yeah. u erhh... got it.

We had to skip prague coz we cldnt get accomodation - so we zipped straight to poland - krakow by two rickety trains. made frens wif a polish gal, and two polish women and an elderly american man. and we went to the market square in krakow, and saw art pieces from leonardo da vinci and rembrandt. tmr we are gona go to austwitch. whether many jews were killed in wwII. its the huge compound of torture chambers.

update u guyz soon. ciao ciao.

paupau

TRAVEL PLANS!

15th March, 2005 (Tuesday)

I had better firm up stuff before I get whacked and slapped upside down by I-know-whos.

21 Mar – 3 Apr:
Budget – 350 to 400 €
Poland, Czech Republic, Slovakia & Hungary. Had changed plans as I have to get a visa to go Bulgaria!

6 Apr – 11 Apr:
Budget – 200 €
Antz! I’m coming to Germany! Jazz concerts, traveling around! I don’t want to skip classes on the 4th & 5th Apr, so I think you have time to finish your paper, and I’m free to travel from 6th to 11th Apr. Let me know. Also tell me the itinery, I need to plan the route back to Graz. There is a direct train to Heidelberg!

16 Apr – 18 Apr:
I’m expecting Antz in Graz. Ruoling Jess n Shaun u r welcome over at this time too!

25 Apr – 8 May:
Budget – 190 €
Trip to Vienna, Slovenia, Croatia and/or other parts of Austria and maybe Berlin Hopefully a drive down. I think maybe having the first week in Vienna with my friends here. Jess & Shaun, wana travel to anywhere together in the second week?

20 May (230pm) – 22 May (afternoon):
Sam & Ruby coming over! I would plan something nice for you guys! Ruoling Jess n Shaun, if u want, u cld also come over at this time!

25 May – 26 May (255pm):
Sam & Ruby back in Graz. Nat is comin over from Milan/Zurich!

**Am scrapping the Ldn trip.

30 May – 30 June:
Budget – 600 €
Extendable to 18 August, but am expected to be back for Commencement in mid July. My plans are still very tentative, but largely considering: Greece & Italy.
Maybe France or Norway if got time and $, exchange friends live there!
Lindy Bindy! Let me know what you think! How how?
Nat - Italy Italy? =)
Anybody for Greece Greece? Athens and the Aegean Sea!

Okay, I’ve been planning this for so many hours. Ich bin müde.

Gut night.

On Way to Salzburg 

Mozarts Balls 

Mozarts Insides 

Close to A Month – Salzburg High

14th March 15, 2005 (Tuesday)

I arrived in Vienna on 18th Feb. Today is 14th March. Reality check. 4 days to a month that I have been away. Finally, I had to do my budget. And I am very glad to say I have been on track with my initial rough budget, and am able to come up with a more detailed one.

So just to keep track, and give you an idea on my expenditure, here goes! Quite modest I must say. I
- Spent 750 € in expenses by 20 Mar (including rent on Feb & Mar 05)
- Spending 350 € Eastern Europe trip from 21 Mar – 3 Apr 05
- Spending 600 € on Final Trip in June – Jul 05

Mom and dad: Not to worry, I think due to the unexpected amount of research allowance, I will definitely have excess money. But I will be frugal. I have been. Only spent an average of 8 € a day from Day 1 till now on food and fun! Quite amazing right? I mean after all the parties and going out. Okay, also because beer, and liquor is really cheap here, and I’ve been cooking my pasta and pizza, and bread for breakfast. But I am not starving or under-nutritioned – coz my friends cook, and my landlady cooks, and I cook, and eat out enough to be healthy. And there’s milk and apples and chocolates - which I eat everyday. I think I grew a bit fatter.

Okay, I am feeling great and more recharged after the trip to Salzburg! It is a bustling city, and is second in terms of tourism next to Vienna. Graz pales in comparison. Salzburg screams Mozart. Everywhere you can find Mozart balls. Haha Yes. His Balls. See! See! (Above)

Things we did at Salzburg. 4 hr train complicated train ride from Graz. (20 € one way)
- Angeline & myself (both self-declared bad-direction-lasses) walked from Hauptbahnhof (Main train station) in Salzburg to Yoho International Youth Hostel (followed the trusty lonely planet guide). Amazing hostel, with very, very friendly English speaking reception staff. Stayed in the cheapest dorm, and shared the room with 6 other girls. 16 € for a night’s stay, a 6min shower and breakfast (Austria bread, butter, honey and tea). I really liked it. Great clean environment!
- Mozart’s Birthplace and Mozart’s amazingly huge residence. A music illiterate, I was greatly enriched by the life of Wolfgang Mozart (his musical talent and short 36 yrs of his life), his dad Leopald’s sheer business-mindedness, Salzburg architecture, musical instruments and also clothes and lifestyle of nobility in the 18th century.
- Schloss Mirabell. Built by worldly prime-archbishop Wolf Dietrich for his mistress in 1606, its not-so-attractive-gardens-in-winter were featured in The Sound of Music.
- Dom (Cathedral) – there are tons of ornate and beautifully painted churches around Europe. What is special is in this church that there are three huge bronze doors in front symbolizing hope faith hope and charity. And I am still awed by the gorgeous paintings on the ceiling and the tall skylight that seeming reaches to the heavens. I love the intricately carved arches, and the sheer magnificence of the churches!
- Had dinner at Maredo – had steak with wedges and garlic bread and orange juice. After which we went to the Irish Pub for drinks.
- St Peter’s Cemetery, shadowed by pines and weeping willows, is the very gorgeous resting place of Salzburg’s noblest families. This cemetery houses the “Catacombs” – which used to be called hermitages. Hermits used to live in this cave, and there is a very small trapdoor, which they climbed up the steep route to reach this secret place. It is said to be one of the earliest Christian prayer sites in Europe. But now, leading to the cave of the catacombs are 88 steps. There is a very Christian and spiritual feel of the living and the dead. One section is the tombs for the hermits, who were persecuted, and another section is a small church. There are 6 semi circles carved into the cave for priests to sit at during mass. It is facing the door which lets the sunlight in.
Salzburger Museum. A showcase of old musical instruments, and antique toys, and cameras!
- Visited The Fortress of Salzburg (Festung Hohensalzburg). Built in 1077 by Archbishop Gerhard, it is the largest fully preserved fortress in Central Europe. It is said to be richly decorated with treasures and designs from hundreds years of existence, including a tower, torture chambers and impressive state rooms. We didn’t have time to climb the tower, nor the cash to take the damn cable car up. So we made our way halfway. It was nice enough to say we have climbed (albeit halfway) the great fortress!
- We also got lost on the way back. So instead of hitting Graz at 9pm, we got back two hours late. Don’t ask – its something about taking the wrong train. Blame it on the unclear train directions. It’s not us. I swear.

Lovely right? I also think so. It was a great trip for Angeline and me. Learnt about how it is to travel in Europe. I am all smiles.

**And Ash, if you are reading this – I’ve got photos on vintage cameras for you – took it at the museum! Hey, have a great one in Korean alright? You take care.

VIew of Graz from Clock Tower 

A Typical View of a Snow Covered Sidewalk

Wow I like this too!

Michel Majerus's Pop Culture work
 

FH Joanneum in Snow 

Spanish Gang - xcept for me 

Christoph - Buddy & Sheesha 

Exchange Students 

Images of Graz 

Tram in Graz 

Mid - Week 3 (Wednesday)

Today is Wednesday and its 11.17pm on my lappie’s clock. I am sipping hot tea and sitting on my bed typing, because my dear Natasha wants to know what is happening in my life. So this blog is dedicated to her.

I was bored today and feeling a slight tinge of culture shock, in terms of finding Graz boring and sick of Graz. I was not exactly thinking of home, but slightly missing the company of friends and family back in Singapore. But oh well!

Okay this week, we are studying this topic called “International Human Resources”, taught by this professor from Marymount University. He is this little fat thing, who I feel pity for, coz somehow he keeps on demeaning himself, and putting himself down. And he is quite hilarious and shocking to me – in the first class, he broke out in an Italian song, coz one of the girls in class is called Sollei, so the name gave him inspiration to start that song. He had a loud booming voice, and he sang for a good three minutes. Tut tut, a good start I must say.

I just came back from a nice nice dinner, with lots and lots of red and white wine. It’s a nice party of four girls – two Norway girls (Stije & Astrid), one Mexican (Marcella), and of course I. Marcella made an amazing dish, with dough mixed with half a bottle of white wine. Inside the dough are tomatoes, cheese, minced pork, garlic and onions. And when baked the dough is a nice crispy pastry. We finished a bottle of red wine.

For dessert, we melted dark chocolate and milk chocolate, mixed with milk. Then we had vanilla ice-cream and bananas topped with the chocolate sauce. This was an incredible concoction by Astrid. And yes, with white wine.

It was amazing atmosphere, with Latin music playing in the background, and only candles providing light in the very cozy kitchen. Glorious food, lovely conversation, enjoyable company. Paradise I guess.

You can imagine how incredibly sleepy and full I was by the time I was done with dessert. Together with the dim lighting and spell of the liquor, I was lying on Stije’s bed while they were clearing the dishes. Marcella, of all times, must take a pix of me dozing away!

My culture shock blues was wiped clean from my troubled mind. All I can think now is to read my Human Resource notes, and get to bed, and be on time for class tomorrow.

I will not be late again. Nitey Night!

Paupau

1154pm

Beginning to Week 3 in FH

it is so hard to get around in only german. my austrian line is screwed up, and my research thingy is not getting anywhere, i am supposed to settle my YEP stuff, and my damn laptop cant get hooked on to the wireless, and i dun like the course this week. and i refuse to get anything done unless my lappie works.

so i am sorry to pris: i cant find the receipts. cant remember if i passed them to xz already, and can u tell sl i will send to her the report. i cant seem to reply the mails on this damn computer - and my lappie cant connect to the net. and shit, everything is in godamn german. so i actualli erased two important workfiles from my thumbdrive. and yes its unretrievable now. and i want to add stuff to my blog, like pix and commentary forum kinda thing. and i dun noe how to do it.

sorry ruoling dear, i noe u r trying to get me. and for easter me and angeline are planning to go to bulgaria to visit our dear frens-who are here on exchange wif us, but they r goin back home. and hungary too. is maya goin back to bosnia, can we visit her too? and we are good to travel from 16th mar to 3rd apr. antz im coming over 4th apr - right after omy easter trip.

im going slovenia this weekend wif exchange frens. update this soon. gotcha run.

paupau
grrrh. okie im going slovenia

Last day of Week 2 (Sunday)

I went to the flea market with my motherly landlady – Renate. (Pronounced as rer-na-ta). I came back at 430am yesterday. I will not tell you what I did (think tongue ring) – only that I went to this place called Music House, where they played Rage against the Machine and other metal music the whole night. Anyway, I managed to drag myself outta bed at 930am, and by 1030am, we were dressed and ready to go!

The flea market is a bit like our Sungei Road, selling second hand stuff, and you get some things at a real bargain. Renate got two new orange candles for 1€. Nothing fantastic - only that it reminds me of what older folks do on Sunday, like my dear daddy. Plus it was really nice to see people and activity on the seventh day of the week, coz all shops are closed on Sundays. Talk about lazy people.

I met Helga, the Hungarian girl at 130pm to do shopping for today’s cooking! Okay, fast forward to after we have bought all the groceries →→→ I swear Helga is an amazing cook. She like made magic! She created a turkey ham pizza out of dough and milk and yeast…. and vanilla and strawberry pudding with kiwi and berry fruits, breadsticks and milk. I was totally spellbound. I was watching with my mouth open most of the time, and I just couldn’t help but feel inspired to make my own pizza someday. Don’t You Laugh. Just Wait. I Will Show You.
I hope.

We had a nice little gathering of about 6 people, with Hungarian wine, rose wine, sparkling wine with pizza, with our fresh-from-the-oven-made-from-scratch pizza. Life is good.

I can’t wait till next Sunday.

Week 2? (Friday)

Oh my gosh! It is week 2.

I am starting to like Graz. Partly it is because the professor. teaching Japanese Management in our University in Austria (How strange is that right?) said really nice things about our presentation! I mean I was so happy. I still am so over the moon. He was a former Wall Street securities analyst and worked in Citibank in mergers and acquisitions. And he gave me his name card. I will see if I can get him to lecture in our university as a visiting professor or arrange for tie-ups for student exchange to the University in Japan he is working in! Plus he is giving the whole class of about 50 kids a treat on drinks! We are gona go for rounds of drinks today! Friday! This is the pre-pre-party. The pre-party will be at some exchange students place, and we will be at Six in the City for the party. Sweet.

End of Week 1/ Feb 2005

Yes, I did write about mundane stuff in the past blogs.
But isn’t life all about what you do everyday? Here’s more.
Yeah, think through the mundane stuff, and maybe we too can find the answer.

HOT & COLD

The cold of the wind against the blush of my cheeks

The cold of the water against the pulse in my fingers

The cold of the feeling from German-bred Matthias

The indifference that I feel towards the ones closest to me

The warmth of the radiator against the coolness of my clothes

The warmth of my landlady in the apricot strudel she bakes

The heat that I get from the cigarettes that I consume

The high that I get from the beer that I drink

The sheer eagerness from the under aged Croatian jazz musician

The pulsating contagious passion in Memo (my Mexican friend)

The head throb I get from the cold of the wind against the warmth of my cheeks, the intensity of the hug, shuddering through the bones in my skin, right through the veins in my head.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS IN AUSTRIA

The fat & joy that I gain from chocolates and cheese
The annoyance with shops closed on Sundays.

The contentment I feel with the Bulgarian girls around
The ineptness I have in a foreign land.

The fascination with Graz’s snow-capped mountains
The loss of control in unfamiliar territory.

The deep slumber I experience every night in winter.
The fakeness in the Canadians.

The thrill at my research allowance
The pent up annoyance with the internet and the silly Fujitsu.

The strange looks from the Austrians
A slight euphoria in finding myself.


Pau pau

Day 4 in FH Joanneum

today. thurs 24th feb. each day flies by so quick.

its tiring to make friends, but it is necessary. so far im having a good time hangin out wif e latin americans (columbians, mexicans), germans, italians, finnish, canadians etc. but i think the austrians are nice pple. althou a bit cold at first, but get to know them better and i think they can friends in need.

my other fren from smu, angeline, has her boyfren from austria, who iz called florience. and he hangs out wif this guy called renee, and we are supposed to watch a porn movie together. haha. and yes the porn cinema iz right by the train station near my house. but yeah will tell u when it happens.

we visited kausthaus tday. it is a project of `graz 2003 -- cultural capital of europe´ and is also known by the name of ´the friendly alien´. it has really interesting architecture, like eyes all over the building. it has the same concept as our esplanade. like the government spend lots of money building it and it looks very controversial, and outstanding. it houses pieces of art. amongst the artists on display is the works of Michel Majerus, who was born in 1966 in Lexomburg and was killed in a plane crash in 2002. he produced and left behind an extraordinary and exemplary oeuvre of contemporary painting in his short tenyear career.

Michel Majerus primary theme included new images of electronic media and their effects on visual and popular forms of culture, extending to computer games and music. Though his pencil was replaced by the computer, his painting, mainly with brush and paint, remained in focus. an abstract effect and more profound meaning shines thru by his skilful and thought-provoking use of different types of flooring, frames for the pix, and medium used to produce his art as well as the material of canvas used.

itz 8.03pm here and i dun feel hungry. im realli sick of eating the damn chicken in the freezer but it freakin cost me 2.07 € but itz so damn smelly and therez lotsa chicken hair on it. gross. and yeah i still have a chicken drumstick and a thigh left. so er. yes. i still haf to eat it.

oh yes and i didnt go for the party yesterday coz it wuz snowing when i made my way home - and wuz also listening to frank sinatra on my long walk back. (i cant wait to cycle my bike in spring). itz amazingly peaceful and so apt to hear bing crosby, frank sinatra and nat king cole come alive! the song really lifts ur mood and can keep one smiling and tapping away on the frosty stroll home. anyway i juz felt like keepin warm in my bed - and tday i heard the party yesterday wuz realli good - almost everyone got drunk and left the party at 4am. and tt i missed out. but wat the heck. therez another party at marco´s apartment tomorrow and i d be goin for tt one.

cheers, catchya guys tmr!

Day 3 at FH Joanneum

tday iz the start of feeling a lil bit tired of the parties. ruoling - smu student in austria pointed out tt i haf been to onli two parties. which is true. but you know, all the talking. and i guess, sometimes im not exactly the talking kind of person, if u noe wat i mean.

ive got an ausrian line, 0650 800 1682, for thse not in europe u cld drop me a line or call me, at +65 97666985. itz quite expensive, i think. call at ur own risk. and my address: Darmstadtgasse 7, Unit 8, A-8020 Graz.

anyway, the chicken in austria stinks. maybe uncooked chicken stinks all the time. juz tt i dun noe it. and yes i burnt my fingers on my first cooking attempt. my sister wld definitely scorn at my frail cooking efforts. i sliced chicken and fried it wif tomato sauce - the ready made pasta kind. and boiled some round pasta. i think itz rigatoni. watever. but im sure my mom will be proud of me. at least i didnt cut my fingers.

and yes, i wuz whining to antz, my dear NUS fren in Germany. and he sed he wuz sorry i burnt my fingers. i think i wuz wincing myself to sleep. dont u laugh - i suspect itz second degree burn. my flesh looks cooked. =) a bit like the chicken in my tomato sauce.

i think i can live wif under 10 euros a day - quite possible. wif e maggie mee i brought - and hey it may be a really sporean thing, but who cares if it tastes good and iz good to eat in 3 minutes!

to thse who are unaware, im in austria, graz, in a grey two storey conspicuous building which iz 20 minutes friggin walk from my ghetto apartment. and sometimes i d haf funny looks and mumblings from blacks and turks alike, thinking i m for sale. i can tell em to screw emselves. and right now im all alone in the 24 hr computer lab in skol. quite dreading the walk home in the dark.

tday wuz okay, still in orientation week btw, and there wuz an excusion to the lurgrotte. which iz an old cave wif lotsa bats and stalagmites, and keresone lamps. in the countryside. we had to take a bus. nice nice hills and snow covered trees. it wuz onli from the bus, tt i felt like diving into the soft white, clean snow.

internet access iz quite spotty here. i can onli get it in skol, and my lappie died on me the second day i wuz here. i swear itz not the weather. im quite annoyed. actualli very annoyed. i muz get my cousin for this. he got it fixed up before i left.

i haf to make my stroll back, to haf my dinner, and get changed for the party at 9pm at Jakominiplatz. ciao!

pau