I Pack, I Cry, I Long

5 June 2005

I pack. Sadly aware that in less than 1 month’s time, I will be away from Graz - a place that i fondly call home. It is a place of too many memories - of good & of bad times. I did so many things that I can hardly believe that it had been 3 and 1/2 months.

I have
- seen the lovely Eastern Europe
- become an accomplished chef
- learnt the meaning of living independently
- put on 4.5 kg
- realized that all kinds of people exist
- discovered the delights of Europe in terms of the social system, scenery and way of life.

I cry now for a mix of reasons: for the fact that I am going to leave Graz and her wondrous pace of life. I cry because I cannot enjoy the splendid aura of Venice – I was not selected for the internship. I cry because I am going to leave the people I have met, behind. I cry for the good and bad times in Graz.

Ich bin traurig. 5.30 a.m.

I now know what it means to enjoy life, and that there is more to life than just work. I fear going back to Singapore – the judgment, the norms, the pressure to work and perform. I shudder as I recollect the life that I used to lead, and do not wish to return to that hectic lifestyle that is full of rigid laws and keine enjoyment. I hate the social norms back home. I long to go back sometimes, but not with the intention to stay in the long run. My mind works – maybe prolonging my stay here is still possible?