I am back in school today! Working on my research stuff, i m also helping Rene (an Austrian) to edit his thesis. He was in Singapore for exchange - but i didnt really noe him that much then. anywayz, its good - coz he is payin me a bit to do the job - so im good.
Just sent in my application for the 51st venice biennale. thinkin of headin to venice for internship after im done with classes at FH. our role is to support and man the singapore pavilion. i think its cool - coz i get to go venice, number one. number two, they will subsidize living costs and provided accomodation. i hope i stand a chance.
will be cookin curry chicken with tomato and potato wif rice and bread tomoorrow for my frens at my place! helga will be making apple strudel. so fun. i will have no classes for the next two weeks, so i will be workin on my job search, my research work, and my homework for european business environment.
so good lah. less busy. hey for my lovely frens who are comin over - maybe we will go to leibnitz. vineyards countryside. near slovenia. oh -today is the first day i am wearin a skirt and slippers out! coz the weather aint so cold. =) smiles
Saturday, April 30, 2005
Thursday, April 28, 2005
In Slovenia right now
I am in Slovenia now! Ljubljana right now. in the really nice hostel called cellica. and guess what everyboy here speaks great english! and really friendly too! for those who intend to come to eastern europe - u really should not miss slovenia. great place. great music. i think great shoppin - thing is we arrived yesterday when it wuz like a public holiday - so all the shops were closed - i mean how unfortunate can we get right. but, we are gona hit the streets today.
bye for now.
bye for now.
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
Nights Like This
4.21am
It is nights like this.
I toss and turn once,
And I lay unblinking,
Wide awake.
Not knowing whether or not
to return to a dreamless sleep.
Setting on the kitchen table:
Honey, Dettol cream, Scalpisil
3-合-1 packet of Milo
¼ cup of Cup of cheap Ceylon Indian tea
Squeezed lemon left inside the cup
1/3 left of opened tee butter
A plate of hardened bread with crumbs all over
A dead rolled-up fly on the floor
The New Confessions by William Boyd,
Page 15 and 16 flat against the table
Covers of the book staring at me
from behind my laptop.
I am not hungry.
I started with tea and lemon,
But thinking it was no harm in finishing up my long overdue bread,
Opened up the butter, and started to slice the bread,
Only to have it crumble in my face.
The gnawing itch in my head,
It is fucking irritating.
Not only up in there, also in my legs and my thighs.
I cant get to sleep; Nor can I read in peace
Again, thoughts zit through my head.
Spinning into an uncontrollable ball of
Desires and thoughts scanning across the lexicon
of my maturing self.
Ash ash, dear ash, the emails are a constant reminder
Of the memories we had.
Almost every day I cant help but reflect
Some would call it Payback time,
Unfinished business if you would have it.
To me its just a fine line between the former and letting go.
You know what I want,
So help me please.
It was great, fantastic even, hearing adrian’s strangely subdued voice
I had expected more excitement, maybe its been 2 weeks,
But still a GA in Std Chart is no mean feat.
Good to know things are still the same
Coz we still have differing ideas on
What it is to have
A totally Wanked up holiday job.
I had missed mommies voice.
Strange but true.
Routines like this
Has ironically, in a good way maybe,
been nagged into my system.
Forgive me dad, but I thought I heard
Ur tear-stricken voice over the phone.
Damp with emotion, I know you guyz
Would want me back.
Expectations of returning in june refaded into existence
When I very well know, my choice of future
Is as unpredictable as
whats going to happen
the day after tomorrow.
I cast as wider net of ambition
Hungrycravingeagerexciteduncertainopen
I will run as far as the distance will take me
One more thing,
I think I would raze my hair to the ground soon enough
If I continue to have sleepless nights like this
But I would lose a bet. Hell no –
Remind me to pray to God
For everything I have and do not have.
**This little piece I wrote, I know its really messed up, but really it’s a collection of my thoughts. The setting on the table part is meant to be a lil’ illustration of the cooking recipes I have been closely following the past few days, to great success! Not deliberately though, but it just came by way of thought. And Id like you guyz to imagine the setting, like in a play, coz I really miss reading English plays and directing. Anything Goes, the latest musical in town by SMU is gona be staged the first few days in July in NAFA. Catch it if you can! It is much bigger than Barefoot, and my heart and kudos goes out to those in the scene! Exciting!
It is nights like this.
I toss and turn once,
And I lay unblinking,
Wide awake.
Not knowing whether or not
to return to a dreamless sleep.
Setting on the kitchen table:
Honey, Dettol cream, Scalpisil
3-合-1 packet of Milo
¼ cup of Cup of cheap Ceylon Indian tea
Squeezed lemon left inside the cup
1/3 left of opened tee butter
A plate of hardened bread with crumbs all over
A dead rolled-up fly on the floor
The New Confessions by William Boyd,
Page 15 and 16 flat against the table
Covers of the book staring at me
from behind my laptop.
I am not hungry.
I started with tea and lemon,
But thinking it was no harm in finishing up my long overdue bread,
Opened up the butter, and started to slice the bread,
Only to have it crumble in my face.
The gnawing itch in my head,
It is fucking irritating.
Not only up in there, also in my legs and my thighs.
I cant get to sleep; Nor can I read in peace
Again, thoughts zit through my head.
Spinning into an uncontrollable ball of
Desires and thoughts scanning across the lexicon
of my maturing self.
Ash ash, dear ash, the emails are a constant reminder
Of the memories we had.
Almost every day I cant help but reflect
Some would call it Payback time,
Unfinished business if you would have it.
To me its just a fine line between the former and letting go.
You know what I want,
So help me please.
It was great, fantastic even, hearing adrian’s strangely subdued voice
I had expected more excitement, maybe its been 2 weeks,
But still a GA in Std Chart is no mean feat.
Good to know things are still the same
Coz we still have differing ideas on
What it is to have
A totally Wanked up holiday job.
I had missed mommies voice.
Strange but true.
Routines like this
Has ironically, in a good way maybe,
been nagged into my system.
Forgive me dad, but I thought I heard
Ur tear-stricken voice over the phone.
Damp with emotion, I know you guyz
Would want me back.
Expectations of returning in june refaded into existence
When I very well know, my choice of future
Is as unpredictable as
whats going to happen
the day after tomorrow.
I cast as wider net of ambition
Hungrycravingeagerexciteduncertainopen
I will run as far as the distance will take me
One more thing,
I think I would raze my hair to the ground soon enough
If I continue to have sleepless nights like this
But I would lose a bet. Hell no –
Remind me to pray to God
For everything I have and do not have.
**This little piece I wrote, I know its really messed up, but really it’s a collection of my thoughts. The setting on the table part is meant to be a lil’ illustration of the cooking recipes I have been closely following the past few days, to great success! Not deliberately though, but it just came by way of thought. And Id like you guyz to imagine the setting, like in a play, coz I really miss reading English plays and directing. Anything Goes, the latest musical in town by SMU is gona be staged the first few days in July in NAFA. Catch it if you can! It is much bigger than Barefoot, and my heart and kudos goes out to those in the scene! Exciting!
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Up to nothing at all!
Im pretty much up to not much travelling after having 3 weeks of non-stop moving about! Im getting boring.
My dreads are nicely setting in - and am getting use to it all.
No lessons this week. Only doing up more research work, finding more places to chill out now that spring is here and more festivals are coming up.
I intend to brush up my german, then look for jobs or internships, and improve my cooking. My-oh-my, my carbonara which what it was intended to be turned out to be scrambled eggs, coz i turned the heat on too high.
anyway, please visit my online photo album at http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/beggarthyneighbour2001/my_photos. I will upload my Eastern Europe travel and Heidelberg pix really soon!
My dreads are nicely setting in - and am getting use to it all.
No lessons this week. Only doing up more research work, finding more places to chill out now that spring is here and more festivals are coming up.
I intend to brush up my german, then look for jobs or internships, and improve my cooking. My-oh-my, my carbonara which what it was intended to be turned out to be scrambled eggs, coz i turned the heat on too high.
anyway, please visit my online photo album at http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/beggarthyneighbour2001/my_photos. I will upload my Eastern Europe travel and Heidelberg pix really soon!
Monday, April 11, 2005
Ode to The Train Ride II (Salzburg - Graz)
10th Apr, 2005 (Sunday)
Yes, the hills are alive! They spoke to me.
I saw them dancing amidst the pastures of greenery.
Orangey hues provided a magnificent backdrop
Against the splendid feast of icing-laden mountains
Making for a titillating sight to behold.
Awashed with enchantment,
I yearn to tread tiptoe, shodless on the riverbanks
Where the current will take me along with its rhythmic flow.
Nestled deep in the ridges and valleys,
Little homes and kirches with shades of lamps
showed me an alternative lifestyle.
For a brief moment, I see blackness
For a rippling second, I thought
I could never look at city lights the same way, Again.
For this is a rare league of untainted perfection
That surpassed my wildest dreams
In all my 22 (coming on 23) years.
Yes, the hills are alive! They spoke to me.
Wrought under the spell of Nature,
I have to refind myself in the depths of wilderness.
Yes, the hills are alive! They spoke to me.
I saw them dancing amidst the pastures of greenery.
Orangey hues provided a magnificent backdrop
Against the splendid feast of icing-laden mountains
Making for a titillating sight to behold.
Awashed with enchantment,
I yearn to tread tiptoe, shodless on the riverbanks
Where the current will take me along with its rhythmic flow.
Nestled deep in the ridges and valleys,
Little homes and kirches with shades of lamps
showed me an alternative lifestyle.
For a brief moment, I see blackness
For a rippling second, I thought
I could never look at city lights the same way, Again.
For this is a rare league of untainted perfection
That surpassed my wildest dreams
In all my 22 (coming on 23) years.
Yes, the hills are alive! They spoke to me.
Wrought under the spell of Nature,
I have to refind myself in the depths of wilderness.
Ode to The Train Ride 1 (Heidelberg - Salzburg)
10th Apr, 2005 (Sunday)
Blank. Frowned. Germanic
On my way back from Heidelberg –
(I)
A hundred million thoughts splinter within my skull.
Dancing in the sea of meadows and vacant branches
I am not so much hollow as I am directionless
Confused and spun around.
Intensity rallied against my senses
Too much for me to take
Part of growing up,
Learning the ways of the world is sobering yet elusive
She gets you, sets you free,
Then once again waves her flag of terrorism.
(II)
Thoughts of relationships, people, work and places
Shooting their daggers of uncertainty one after another,
Aimed at balloons of fragile dreams in my desperate mind.
Being somewhere yet nowhere scares me
Not knowing which path to take rebels within my subconscious.
I know it is impossible to dodge,
I know I can only seek temporary refuge
In the oasis of time.
I suspect this ride will bring light
At the end of the tunnel.
(III)
I want to, but my heart pumps poison to my brain.
Each determined to outdo another.
(IV)
I yearn for moments on Daddy’s Lap
Carefree like a child – floating on wonder,
Riding on a rainbow into the skies.
Blank. Frowned. Germanic
On my way back from Heidelberg –
(I)
A hundred million thoughts splinter within my skull.
Dancing in the sea of meadows and vacant branches
I am not so much hollow as I am directionless
Confused and spun around.
Intensity rallied against my senses
Too much for me to take
Part of growing up,
Learning the ways of the world is sobering yet elusive
She gets you, sets you free,
Then once again waves her flag of terrorism.
(II)
Thoughts of relationships, people, work and places
Shooting their daggers of uncertainty one after another,
Aimed at balloons of fragile dreams in my desperate mind.
Being somewhere yet nowhere scares me
Not knowing which path to take rebels within my subconscious.
I know it is impossible to dodge,
I know I can only seek temporary refuge
In the oasis of time.
I suspect this ride will bring light
At the end of the tunnel.
(III)
I want to, but my heart pumps poison to my brain.
Each determined to outdo another.
(IV)
I yearn for moments on Daddy’s Lap
Carefree like a child – floating on wonder,
Riding on a rainbow into the skies.
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Heidelberg - what a wondrous time is spring
My friends in GBP said I was a tourist.
they were apalled at how little modules i took in skol, and how i am never ard durin lessons. me and angeline, durin our easter trips had more or less felt like tourists, and somehow we never truly belonged, much as we wld like to experience the heart and soul of a foreign place. i think it helps if you know somebody in the country, be it a native or a non-native (coz tt means u dun haf to think so much, and navigate urself in this entirely new country of which u have zilch language competency in) and more imptantly, it helps to know the language. this time in heidelberg, with anthony, it is finally the wake-up call for me to really learn my german! coz the students in his student dorm alll spoke german, and in germany, duh , everyone speaks german. and anthony, for example, from day 1 spoke german wif everyone else, and didnt use any english. we all know tt german is a tough language, and somesay it takes 5 yrs in germany to master the language. the grammer is totally topsy turvey from english, and the pronounciation is killin me - with all the umlauts like ü ä and ö. i am somewhat gettin it, but i can hardly manage. an example of a question literally translated from german is, ´cld u a photo for us take?´ and all nouns have a gender. which is so crap, and there is this thing called high german, which means u use sind sie to address someone on a formal basis and du for informal. and if u dun noe the language, u wldnt be able to communicate, number one. number two, u cant understand the jokes, which is only effective in german, number three, you cant feel and appreciate the culture of the place. so in short, yes, i will put more effort into german. coz if i am interested to get a job in europe, german is one of the best third language for me to master.
i now really thinkin of my future. i have a rough idea, but the possibilites are endless for me. i mean now in heidelberg, it is a place to kick off ur shoes and sit by the river to read, and juz takin a stroll and hike up a hill under the bare trees, cool air, and rustling branches are enuf to set my mind wandering ..... of what the future holds for me. as alfred had told me, the world is your oyster, and most definitely, i am living my wildest dream. and more rolling times to come, im sure.
oh yes, has anyone heard of Blue and also The Double Life of Veronika? Adam, whom we met from Poland, told me to try to watch these films. Maybe u can, too. And yeah, i am in love wif Monty Phython! It is so damn hilarious, i m gona watch the entire collection! it is so irreverently humorous. i watched it while i wuz doin my dreads. Groch, the dreadmaker, definitely has a good collection of movies, it is amazin - coz he has a good Irish friend, and tts y he speaks good english. it wuz a good 15 hours to remember for a long time.
meanwhile, here is heidelberg (somewhat south of frankfurt), i muz say that anthony has been and amazing host. he brought me to the most beautiful places, and i will upload these photos when i reach back austria. juz a running commentary of our itinery to date...if u r interested.
6th apr-wed
despite taking a 13 hr train ride wif two transits and having less than two hours of consecutive sleep the entire night, i wuz well able to persist till 11pm. we did a tour of the small city centre called bismarckplatz and walked along hauptstrasse (our equivalent of orchard road), visited the castle up on the mountain - koenigstuehl(the highest point in heidelberg), lay on the grass under the sun, had two cones of ice-cream, and went to the bookshop where i bought two books. anthony called me a voyeur juz because the books i bought were largely bout the study of the inner workings of pple. anyway.
7th apr-thu
here in schriesheim(a village, 20 min bus ride), are the most beautiful and quaint lil houses my eyes have ever set its sights on. u can see a stream running beneath a small lil garage! and the pavements and roads are so narrow, if u never saw the inhabitants, u wld think they were really little people with small feet and small cars. the juxtaposition of the woody colour of the houses with the riot of bright refreshing colours from blooming flowers in spring makes for a very pleasing feast for the eyes. Of course the fresh air and being on a hilly area makes the atmosphere even more compelling for me. Can u imagine a house on a hill overlooking the city, and to top it up, they have their own vineyard and also another piece of terraced land for gardening and building tree houses and the like? I could be exaggerating a little, but I really felt like I wuz in fairyland. And of course, the pastries were so good. Oh yes, my favourite beer brand now is löwenbräu and my drink-of-the-moment is kirschweizen! Which is also cherry beer. It’s so drinkable!
We also climbed up another hill, philosophenweg. It wuz a rather steep climb of about 1hr juz to see the Nazi stadium and there wuz also the 15th century monastery ruins. It wuz hauntingly beautiful. We climbed two hills in one day – I say we are pretty damn good. We were exhausted at the end of the day.
8th apr-fri
we went to speyer, a half hour train ride away from Heidelberg. We did the usual stuff everybody would do in Europe – visit the dom and the museum, and every church I go to will be holding memorial services for john pope II. And in speyer there wuz a carnival! It wuz great seeing the multicoloured ballons and stuffed toys hanging as prizes, and candy bars and sweets and chewing gum of all shapes and sizes. Anthony and I couldnt resist the urge to be little kids again, so we joined a bunch of kids at least two heads shorter than me, to go into the Waterhouse … we had to go thru 3 kiddy storeys of obstacles´ to avoid getting wet, and at the end of it, we had to run thru this exit where water spurts out periodically. I didn’t get wet, but poor Anthony did, and boy, did the girls giggle. Including me. Heheh. And the best wuz when we heard music and when we got closer, there wuz a band playing. They were dressed in the cutest, funniest and most ridiculous bird costumes. Something like celebrating the aftermath of easter I guess. Ok, not so funny. It comprised pple of all age and sizes and skin colour. They had drums on rollers and marched along as the carnival grounds, giving a very lively and fun atmosphere. Something u proli wld never experience in Singapore. Anyway, I really liked it. To end off the day, I had cheese cake and chocolate ice-cream.
they were apalled at how little modules i took in skol, and how i am never ard durin lessons. me and angeline, durin our easter trips had more or less felt like tourists, and somehow we never truly belonged, much as we wld like to experience the heart and soul of a foreign place. i think it helps if you know somebody in the country, be it a native or a non-native (coz tt means u dun haf to think so much, and navigate urself in this entirely new country of which u have zilch language competency in) and more imptantly, it helps to know the language. this time in heidelberg, with anthony, it is finally the wake-up call for me to really learn my german! coz the students in his student dorm alll spoke german, and in germany, duh , everyone speaks german. and anthony, for example, from day 1 spoke german wif everyone else, and didnt use any english. we all know tt german is a tough language, and somesay it takes 5 yrs in germany to master the language. the grammer is totally topsy turvey from english, and the pronounciation is killin me - with all the umlauts like ü ä and ö. i am somewhat gettin it, but i can hardly manage. an example of a question literally translated from german is, ´cld u a photo for us take?´ and all nouns have a gender. which is so crap, and there is this thing called high german, which means u use sind sie to address someone on a formal basis and du for informal. and if u dun noe the language, u wldnt be able to communicate, number one. number two, u cant understand the jokes, which is only effective in german, number three, you cant feel and appreciate the culture of the place. so in short, yes, i will put more effort into german. coz if i am interested to get a job in europe, german is one of the best third language for me to master.
i now really thinkin of my future. i have a rough idea, but the possibilites are endless for me. i mean now in heidelberg, it is a place to kick off ur shoes and sit by the river to read, and juz takin a stroll and hike up a hill under the bare trees, cool air, and rustling branches are enuf to set my mind wandering ..... of what the future holds for me. as alfred had told me, the world is your oyster, and most definitely, i am living my wildest dream. and more rolling times to come, im sure.
oh yes, has anyone heard of Blue and also The Double Life of Veronika? Adam, whom we met from Poland, told me to try to watch these films. Maybe u can, too. And yeah, i am in love wif Monty Phython! It is so damn hilarious, i m gona watch the entire collection! it is so irreverently humorous. i watched it while i wuz doin my dreads. Groch, the dreadmaker, definitely has a good collection of movies, it is amazin - coz he has a good Irish friend, and tts y he speaks good english. it wuz a good 15 hours to remember for a long time.
meanwhile, here is heidelberg (somewhat south of frankfurt), i muz say that anthony has been and amazing host. he brought me to the most beautiful places, and i will upload these photos when i reach back austria. juz a running commentary of our itinery to date...if u r interested.
6th apr-wed
despite taking a 13 hr train ride wif two transits and having less than two hours of consecutive sleep the entire night, i wuz well able to persist till 11pm. we did a tour of the small city centre called bismarckplatz and walked along hauptstrasse (our equivalent of orchard road), visited the castle up on the mountain - koenigstuehl(the highest point in heidelberg), lay on the grass under the sun, had two cones of ice-cream, and went to the bookshop where i bought two books. anthony called me a voyeur juz because the books i bought were largely bout the study of the inner workings of pple. anyway.
7th apr-thu
here in schriesheim(a village, 20 min bus ride), are the most beautiful and quaint lil houses my eyes have ever set its sights on. u can see a stream running beneath a small lil garage! and the pavements and roads are so narrow, if u never saw the inhabitants, u wld think they were really little people with small feet and small cars. the juxtaposition of the woody colour of the houses with the riot of bright refreshing colours from blooming flowers in spring makes for a very pleasing feast for the eyes. Of course the fresh air and being on a hilly area makes the atmosphere even more compelling for me. Can u imagine a house on a hill overlooking the city, and to top it up, they have their own vineyard and also another piece of terraced land for gardening and building tree houses and the like? I could be exaggerating a little, but I really felt like I wuz in fairyland. And of course, the pastries were so good. Oh yes, my favourite beer brand now is löwenbräu and my drink-of-the-moment is kirschweizen! Which is also cherry beer. It’s so drinkable!
We also climbed up another hill, philosophenweg. It wuz a rather steep climb of about 1hr juz to see the Nazi stadium and there wuz also the 15th century monastery ruins. It wuz hauntingly beautiful. We climbed two hills in one day – I say we are pretty damn good. We were exhausted at the end of the day.
8th apr-fri
we went to speyer, a half hour train ride away from Heidelberg. We did the usual stuff everybody would do in Europe – visit the dom and the museum, and every church I go to will be holding memorial services for john pope II. And in speyer there wuz a carnival! It wuz great seeing the multicoloured ballons and stuffed toys hanging as prizes, and candy bars and sweets and chewing gum of all shapes and sizes. Anthony and I couldnt resist the urge to be little kids again, so we joined a bunch of kids at least two heads shorter than me, to go into the Waterhouse … we had to go thru 3 kiddy storeys of obstacles´ to avoid getting wet, and at the end of it, we had to run thru this exit where water spurts out periodically. I didn’t get wet, but poor Anthony did, and boy, did the girls giggle. Including me. Heheh. And the best wuz when we heard music and when we got closer, there wuz a band playing. They were dressed in the cutest, funniest and most ridiculous bird costumes. Something like celebrating the aftermath of easter I guess. Ok, not so funny. It comprised pple of all age and sizes and skin colour. They had drums on rollers and marched along as the carnival grounds, giving a very lively and fun atmosphere. Something u proli wld never experience in Singapore. Anyway, I really liked it. To end off the day, I had cheese cake and chocolate ice-cream.
Saturday, April 02, 2005
Poland and Hungary
Anway in short, my story in poland is that we stayed with mark and his family. we were damn scared on the way to his place lah. thot we wld never walk outta his car alive. haha. another crazy thing i did wuz to do dreads on my hair. yeah. i juz told my mom its a bit like curls - which is really like black's curls. it took 15 freakin hrs to do!