Why do we have to Work?

I was in the midst of work, and i started to wonder why people have to work at all.

Looking for some material.

I am So Damned Happy!!!

Yes im in a very good mood these days. No bank, no 11 hours, no nothing. =)

Today i am cooking spaghetti bolognese, with mushroom soup for dinner.

Tomorrow i am going blading. Thurs i am going Bintan and comin back in time for a movie =). Friday i am going to JB with dad. Sat I am going Sentosa. Sunday I am going to stay home. I am so damned happy.

I was in a terribly foul mood the week before, and whining practically every day since two weekends ago. My job. Yes, i am doing Treasury Operations. Essentially it is back office work. It covers Foreign Exchange and Money Markets. My role is to prepare reports to do with Liquidity, Exposure, Money Markets Placements and Deposits, Profit and Loss, Credit Limits, Nostro Reconciliation etc...the list goes on. It is essentially a desk-bound job, and all i have to do each day is churn out reports. Lots of deadlines, daily ones, fornightly ones, weekly ones, monthly ones, quarterly ones, and yearly ones.

My greatest gripe is the working hours and being tied to the computer for 55 hours a week. Not to mention that it is not terribly interesting. I guess I have to start somewhere, and I am lucky to have gotten this opportunity, i think. I think i make it worse for myself, and maybe its not so bad. For one, people there are absolutely lovely. Its a very friendly environment, but are generally experienced people who intend to work there until they retire.

I also wonder if anyone actually enjoys their job. Other than Sam, who is managing clients accounts in a design firm , i really dunno anyones. I was actually sickeningly jaded during the week i worked. It takes me a weekend to recover from the spell of depression. Do u think i m exaggerating? But i really felt so.

I hope this week never ends.

Let the Corporate life begin

Well, today, i went to finalize the details of my job at royal bank of canada.
i will be startin work 29 aug. 5 day bank job week. i trust i will make good.
and its only 6 months.

'You Are Very Crap for Your Age'

At Campers Corner:
(This was a long gone affair)
I saw the gloves he bought for me
But why did he buy such expensive ones?
I feel bad in the way i had acted.

At New SMU Campus:
SMU has become a place I nearly couldnt recognize,
Although bits and pieces of
familiar memories lie in its facade...
Power points, wireless, different Sem Rooms.

But really, if u put me there,
I cant identify it as uniquely SMU.
(This is judging from the outset of the school,
the architecture, layout etc)
Amidst adopting the fruits of labour of
Successful unis around the world,
SMU is striving to become another
world-class university, and the price
it has to pay is losing its unique charm.

Places change, So do people...
who grow into the job, grow into their age
and grow to become a Singaporean worker.
I dont blame them, but cant help wonder
if i am lagging behind.
Pris says we should grow at our own pace.

Standing amongst my peers today,
I realised most have become more subdued -
Is it the Working Syndrome?
Or maybe its just the Office Wear,
Maybe its just me.
I was more energized,
Akin to an excited bunny equipped with more
Triple A batteries than i need.
I felt oddly out of place.
When places, people and expressions change,
I think maybe I had changed.

____________________________________________________

On a green field where a flock of birds were flying in unison, i saw 2 things:
i) Friends that grow together with you
ii) A society that functions together and moves as a uniform unit.
I wonder what others see.

My skatin has improved!

yay yay! i think i m gettin a wee bit better at bladin. i used to haf this naggin pain in my left foot - but today i managed to correct the mistake i think. im happy.

i will be startin work at royal bank of canada this sept - will work out the exact date come mon. cant help it - 6 months it has to be. =( but i get to keep my dreads. =)

im losin my lust for exercise now that tibet is off the agenda.

I dreamt i cut my hair

i dreamt i had my hair cut. I was so sad. But i hope to keep my hair for a long time. Wishful thinking but im just hoping. Coz i really love my hair although the majority of pple here dont.

okie the deal for me here is that i may have to forgo my year-end trip to Tibet. (WHY?) I am so damn upset. How often does one get to backpack Tibet and Nepal and China without any worries in the world? But then again, the people closest to me dont want me to go. =( Not like I care very much, but I am starting to realise that I have a responsibility to be accountable for myself, for the sake of others.

WHY? Becoz i need to start work. as predicted i am falling prey to societal norms and pressure. I guess there is a reason why Singapore is successful with its model of society, and perhaps to a large extent, how we do things are rightly justified. and now, really, i am under pressure to get something done wif my life. that is the problem. everything has to be done in a certain manner becoz its the way of life here, everyone does that, and everything is explained by pure logic which is somewhat bullshit to me.

1) Do not take unnecessary uncalculated risks. Why? Becoz it is stupid to put your life at risk.
But: Different pple have diff levels of risk tolerance - and to me I live life only once. And life becomes so complicated if you take into account the rights of others. Anyway, i think i have a lot to learn on tis.

2) Work your fucking ass off now so that you can do what you want in the future.
But: I think what if this person doesnt live to see the next day? I think we have to relish memories in the past, live in the present to the fullest, but also work towards the future. Not work for the future. The problem is that some pple work so much now in hope of a better future, but why cant we enjoy the present and the future, and not over compromise the present's happiness to buy a better future.

10 August 2005

My mind screams for help.

Citigroup. Goldman. Royal Bank.
Job. Pay, Branding, Prestige.

Theatre Passion Challenges
Love Joy Time Friends

Home. Feet to ground.

Caught up in norms vs What I want,
What IFs?
Friends moving on:
Evalation and pay increment.
Overseas - Hongkong Happy.

Fuck, I am so confused.

My dreams descend from the clouds.